How One Embarrassing Dinner Changed the Way I Cook
The Lasagne That Drove My Friend to McDonalds.
If you like what you read, please click the heart or leave a comment it helps this recipe fly off into the internet universe and reach more people who need some food joy in their life.
Why become a paid subscriber?
You’ll get access to amazing flexible recipe plans to make your weeknight dinners even easier and seasonal recipes that work for different social occasions allowing all your loved ones to eat share and enjoy. From picnics, BBQ’s to summer parties to spontaneous gatherings with your loved ones that bring joy to your everyday.
You also get access to my full archives and it also allows me to continue supporting the free from and veggie/vegan/plant-based communities — and costs less than a fancy coffee per month.
A few years ago, a friend came to visit. She’d been vegan for a long time, and although I’d known her since my twenties, this was the first time I’d cooked for her in over a decade.
I was newly dairy-free and eager to flex my culinary muscles. Now that I could relate to life without dairy, I wanted to make something special we could share.
As someone with both food preferences and intolerances, I know how lovely it is when someone makes something I can actually eat — instead of resorting to my emergency packet of crisps on the way to dinner. So I decided to put in some time and effort.
After mulling it over, I landed on the idea of a veggie, gluten-free, and dairy-free lasagne. Harder to execute than it is to say. Getting the flavour, richness and creaminess just right isn’t easy. But I was confident. My ego was convinced she’d be just as impressed as I was.
I wrangled two types of tricky vegan cheeses and made a ricotta-style lasagne with spinach and red peppers. Pride was wafting off me in waves. It was the first time I’d attempted something like this — and I’d actually pulled it off.
My friend rang while I was cooking, and I told her what I was making.
Her response was not what I expected.
She paused, then mentioned she hadn’t had cheese — vegan or otherwise — for many, many years and wasn’t a fan.
That’s when I realised my mistake.
I missed cheese then, it was a daily thought. But for her? She hadn’t had any dairy flavours since she was a teenager.
It didn’t excite her the way it excited me. To her, it was… weird.
When she arrived, there was an awkwardness in the air. She took a small piece of lasagne and said, “I’m not very hungry.”
What followed was a slightly embarrassing meal that tasted great to me and my partner — but had no reference point for her.
She later admitted she’d stopped off on the way to grab something to eat.
What That Awkward Meal Taught Me
Since ‘McDonaldsgate’, I ask more questions and put more thought into what I’m making for guests.
The first one being: Who am I making food for?
They might be veggie, vegan, plant-based — whatever. But not everyone has the same tastes or needs.
A buddha or poke bowl might work well for someone who’s been plant-based for years. But will it satisfy a veggie-reluctant meat-eater?
A realistic fake meat burger at a BBQ might impress someone who’s given up meat but still loves the flavour. But for someone who’d rather eat a car tyre than a meat burger? They probably won’t enjoy it.
These days, I choose what to serve based on who’s coming to dinner. If someone’s used to a rich, cream-based dish, they might notice the difference in a dairy-free version. But if that “cream” element is just a splash in an orzo or soup, it becomes a gateway recipe that everyone can enjoy.
Why It’s Worth Asking More Questions
This might sound like a lot to consider as a host, but if you're only cooking for a dinner, it’s simpler than it sounds. If you are cooking for many at a party or BBQ, then you probably will have a few different dishes so that the person can self select.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend ten extra minutes asking questions and finding recipes than have my guests preload on carbs at a drive-through they’d normally avoid.
People don’t live in neat little boxes. Even within the “vegan” or “plant-based” categories, supermarkets stock wildly different products for different customers.
Take vegan steaks that claim to “taste just like the real thing” — my stomach would churn trying to eat one. But they might be perfect for someone else.
How I Apply This as a Recipe Developer
As a recipe developer, I keep this in mind to make sure my recipes have broad appeal.
I use a range of taste testers: from committed meat-eaters to new veggies to long-time vegans. I don’t rely solely on my own taste buds.
And I always ask myself:
– Does this need a plant-based cream that some might enjoy, or could I use cashew nuts or sunflower seeds instead?
– Do I need fake meat here, or can I make it exciting with grains and legumes?
These questions help me professionally and socially to create food that not only tastes great — but that people genuinely want to eat.
That embarrassing meal? It was a gift in disguise.
Because hopefully, the next time I cook for guests — I won’t accidentally drive them to a fast food restaurant again.
Have you ever proudly cooked something — only to realise your guest wasn’t into it at all? What did you learn? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
Hello, I'm Mel from Yes! You Can Eat This. My aim is to make cooking for multiple food intolerances easy and enjoyable. Veggie filled recipes that you can share and enjoy with your loved ones whether they have intolerances, or preferences (veggie, plant-based, vegan) or not.
I became a veggie at 15 then picked up a few food intolerances a long the way :-). With my 20+ years of experience I have learnt how to make cooking from scratch easy, with food that is kind to your bellies, without sacrificing flavour.
I was always taught that it's good manners to inform the host of any allergies/dislikes/preferences in advance, otherwise...how are you expected to know? You went out of your way to cook a meal you thought would be well received. It's not your fault if it wasn't.
Thanks for sharing McDonaldsgate Mel! I'm hosting 25 for a dinner party this week so I'll keep this in mind